For many parents, the day their children leave home is bittersweet. On one hand, they may feel relief to have some peace, quiet, and personal space in their home again. But on the other hand, they may feel a sense of emptiness now that their kids are gone. This is known as “empty-nest syndrome”, a colloquial term used to describe the feelings of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, and isolation that can occur when children move out of the family home. While empty nest syndrome can affect any parent or guardian, it is most commonly associated with mothers who have raised their children to adulthood, and especially single moms, moms with marital struggles, and stay at home moms.
So, how long does this period of adjustment last? Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. For some parents, the feeling of emptiness subsides relatively quickly, and they are able to find fulfillment in other aspects of their lives. Others may struggle for months or even years to come to terms with their new reality. Be sure to give yourself some time to adjust and allow yourself to grieve the loss of this phase of your life. However, don’t let yourself drown in your sadness. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of this new chapter. Here are three steps you can take to cope.
1. Check in with yourself.
As a parent, it can be easy to let “mom” feel like your entire identity but remember that you are more than just a parent. You are a whole and complex person with a rich history and identity. Take some time to explore your other roles and interests. What did you love to do before you became a parent? What are your dreams and aspirations? Don’t be afraid to pursue them now that you have some extra time on your hands.
2. Connect with others.
The feelings of loneliness that accompany an empty nest can be tough to shake, but it is important to remember that you are not alone, even if your kids are no longer at home. If you find yourself feeling lonely, reach out to people that make you feel the most like you. Reconnect with old friends or make new ones. Spend more quality time with your partner—with the kids out of the house, there will likely be more opportunities for date nights, evening walks, weekend getaways, etc. At The Humphreys Group, we believe strongly in the power of human connection; That sense of belonging and connectedness that we feel when we interact with others. Whether it’s through conversation, physical touch, or shared experiences, human connection is essential for your mental and emotional health, so try not to isolate.
3. Look to the future.
Rather than dwelling on what you no longer have, choose to focus on what you can still achieve. By setting a new personal or professional goal, you can stay motivated and focused, while also building a sense of purpose. So, whether you’ve always dreamed of writing a book or you’re finally ready to learn how to rock climb, now is the perfect time to start working towards your goal. And who knows? Achieving something you never thought possible might just be the best way to celebrate your child’s independence.
Continue the Conversation with The Humphreys Group
As many young adults are gearing up to begin college this fall, many parents are trying to deal with the complicated emotions that accompany an empty nest. At The Humphreys Group, we understand how challenging this transition can be, but we also want to remind you that you are not alone. From the financial aspect of empty nesting to the emotional one, our team is here to help you navigate this transition. And remember, just because you’re no longer their 24/7 taxi service doesn’t mean your kids don’t need you—they will always need you.
